Have you ever asked yourself this question? How honest are you?
Whether we talk about friendships, partnerships or colleagues, the most important question to ask yourself is: Am I honest with myself? I know, I know most of you will say: but, of course I am. But are you? I don’t need to know the answer, this is the question that every single of us should be asking himself and answering.
Let me dig deeper.
As we all know intention is something that ultimately speaks about ourselves. Whatever we do in our lives, before doing it, if you really want to know who you are, ask yourself: Why am I doing this? Of course that inner voice doesn’t lie, so you had better listen to it. Not your mind, because your mind will find a million excuses to justify something you are doing. What you need is that inner talk. Connection with your soul.
Let me give you an example. I will take love relationships for instance. If you stay in a relationship (without love), just because you are afraid to be single (..), your mind will find a million excuses to justify that. Often reasons can be fear of judgment, fear of losing that person.. and so on. Let me tell you something, if your soul is telling you that you don’t feel happy, but you are going to listen to your mind, you are not being honest with yourself. And definitely you won’t feel “happy”, whatever happy means to you.
You need to ask yourself some questions:
1. Is that really the life you wanna live?
2. If I am not honest with myself, am I living a lie?
3. If so, does the person who is with me love me for right reasons, for me being myself or for some image that I have created? (As we all know when we meet other people, some of them (or most) tend to be more lovely than they actually are just because they want to be accepted and liked)
4. Am I honest with my partner? If you are then congrats, if you are not then:
5. What stops me being honest?
That is something every single person needs to figure out and resolve in order to achieve a fulfilled life (you need to define what this means to yourself).
What stops you having one civilised conversation with the person who is by your side? What stops you speaking about how you feel? If you are not being honest with your partner how can you expect your partner to be honest with you? Life is like that: What you give, is what you receive, what you allow, it will continue.
So why is honesty so important?
It is a crucial thing. I love to say that being honest is more important than being in love. Actually love is being honest. There is no love in lies, hiding things. Being honest with yourself and with others can only lead you to have true relationships with people who will love you for exactly who you are.
Being honest is so liberating and can’t harm you at all. Speaking about how you feel and what you think is quite different from speaking things that others WANT to hear. You are not here to please others. Keep this in mind. If you want one unhappy life then keep doing it. In my opinion, we all deserve to be fulfilled with our lives. We all deserve that happiness.
Just by being yourself, the right people, for you, will stay in your life. Look for that, look for quality. Would you prefer to have that fake image? Please don’t, the world is full of that. Unhappy marriages, relationships, friendships, just because people are not honest with themselves and after that, with their surroundings. Staying together.. why? So what stops you being honest? The answer is quite simple: YOU.
Don’t forget that no one can make that decision for you, but you! The change starts with you.
Don’t hide things, don’t speak with others about problems with your partner/friends, speak with them! Sit, talk and see what happens. Look for solutions, always. Why is it easier to hide things? I know so many unhappy marriages, who look for something on the side, promising they will divorce, that their marriage is over, but they are still in it.. because of X reasons. Excuses. My question to them: If your partner knows that you feel unhappy with them, would they still want you to be part of their life? Knowing this, try to think this way: If you are not honest with your partner, is your partner honest with you? Would you stay with your partner if he is not feeling happy with you? Got the point?
Whether you go through some storms in your life, don’t be afraid to speak about it when you meet someone you like. That will not only be liberating, but also will bring the right people, who will stick by your side and help you go through that. It doesn’t mean you should drain someone with your problems haha.. it means that you don’t need to hide situations in your life. The right people for you will stay. Others who don’t understand? Who cares about them.
Because that’s what partnership is: Friendship. That’s what love is. Being best mates with your partner. Being honest and taking care of each other. Building your future together. Not destroying it. Helping each other and growing together. If you have all of that would you ever want to look for something on the side, to cheat, to lie? No. What’s the answer? How Honest Are You ? I mean this is the question, silly me :))), but you are the only one who knows the answer.
If you don’t live a fulfilled life, before you find what you look for, you really need to define things in your life. As usual. What is that you want from others? Is it Honesty? Loyalty? Love? Respect? Then, make sure you give all these things in the first place.